Friday, April 27, 2012


Relationships are confounding to me.

When you Google the word "relationships", the majority of the hits come up regarding romantic relationships. Here's a site - straight from Cosmopolitan Magazine - you know,  the relationship advice gurus of the fashion world? One specific item that stuck out to me was this particular excerpt, "Almost every undesirable attribute your guy possesses has a positive flip side to it," New York clinical psychologist Alon Gratch, Ph.D. explains. He continues by stating, "Recognizing the specific upside to each of his flaws will make you happier with your guy and help your relationship flow more smoothly. Once you recognize this mental skill, you can apply it towards any bothersome behavior." Can't this be applied to all relationships?

And don't we all as human beings have a variety of relationships in our lives? And not just the romantic ones? We all have family relationships, friendships, in-law relationships, ex-relationships, co-worker relationships, even relationships when encountering strangers on the street, while driving, or even in the supermarket. So who determines what is the best way to act and interact in these relationships? Is it yourself and your own guided beliefs? Is it the advice you seek from others? Or is it the unsolicited advice we so often get when we do not act according to someone else's standards? 

Some people treat relationships as a burden while others value the relationships they have - even those with strangers. My mother, for instance, is great at interacting with strangers. While I, on the other hand, don't care to value those relationships, so I don't make an effort with people on the street that I don't know. But what about those people who don't care to make an effort with those they do know? What about those people who refuse to compromise when there's love involved in the relationship? What does one do in a situation such as this? Is it our own selfishness that prevents us from taking the first step? Is it our own pride that keeps us from opening up like we should with those we love and care about? 

Asking these questions makes me think about my own situations that I've encountered throughout my life. Many are great and many are quite troublesome and disheartening. I've learned that what is important to me in a relationship, may not be important to someone else. But in the end, I know what's important to me and my family and I strive to do the best I can with what is in my control. Sometimes you can't help that others don't want to be involved in your life - no matter how much effort you put forth - such as with my biological father. It doesn't matter to him one bit to maintain a relationship with his children and no matter what effort we put into it, that will not change his behavior and I am okay with that. Sometimes no matter how much effort you put into a relationship, others are simply willing to not compromise and that often means we have to move on. 

But that brings me back to the questions above ~ why? Why do relationships have to be so hard?


  1. Relationships are may have answered the question above where you wondered why some people don't put forth the effort even to those they DO know. Some people can't handle the heartache so they protect themselves by removing themselves.