Wednesday, March 13, 2013

part of me

This post has taken a long time for me to figure out how to talk about. Basically, it's about the war between parents ~ not necessarily one or the other, but I see it more with moms. Maybe it's because of the cattiness that women tend to have when interacting with one another. But, regardless, it applies to both sides. Parenting is a choice for people to make in their lives whether they think they have the choice or not - you do. But when you make that choice, you decide what you are going to do with the decision you made. You make choices. You do or do not research what to do with a newborn, a toddler, a child. You may figure out what the best foods are to feed your child, or you may just feed your child because you know you need to at least do that. But the fact of the matter is, you do it. 

I am so sick and tired of seeing the, mostly mom wars, regarding what is best for YOUR child. Should I choose organic, should I limit television, should I not spank or should I? Should I make a decision for myself? Why can't I do what the other mothers are doing ~ baking, crafting, party throwing (as some would wonder)? In this Pinterest, Facebook loving, Insta-tweet kind of world, everyone seems to be comparing themselves and wondering if they are good enough. What makes someone good enough? Who is the judge whether or not you are skinny enough, pretty enough, healthy enough, smart enough, a mother enough....who defines your worth? YOU DO.

I see so many blogs and posts about people (mostly women) comparing themselves to others on whether they are doing enough for themselves, their children, their families. Why? Why are you comparing yourselves to everyone else? Some people see someone who they think it wealthier, skinnier, prettier, a better mother,  smarter, etc., and judge that person for their faults instead of that person's worth. Don't you think that perhaps everyone functions differently, perhaps differently than you do?  That doesn't mean you aren't worth less, because you feel incompetent to the other person, it means you are different than the other person - and THERE'S. NOTHING. WRONG. WITH. THAT. You don't have to have the prettiest hair, have the most education, the best holiday arrangements, throw the best party, have the highest salary, go on the best vacations, have the best or be the best of anything. 

Stop comparing yourselves to others. Look, I admit it too. Sometimes I see people who have clearer skin than me and wish I had that person's skin. Sometimes I wish my eyebrows would be more formfitting to my face and my nose was smaller and my breasts were perkier and bigger. Sometimes I see people whose bodies are more in shape than mine and  I wish I could be stronger and work out more often. But I love who I am. I make mistakes just like everyone else. I am not the best person in the world - hell not one person would think or dare to say that. 

But I am comfortable with myself; my decisions; my mistakes (and learning from them); my education; my salary; my decision to work; my decision to send my child to Montessori school; my decision to feed my child healthy, whole foods versus prepackaged crap (sorry for the judgement, but it's judgement against the food, not the person who chooses to eat it); my decision to breast feed; my decision to work my schedule around my child's nap time; my balance of family and free time; my time I know I choose to be away from my family for my job currently - although more than I would like and very hard at times, I am comfortable with this temporary decision; my friends; my body; my relationship with  my husband;  my time with my son; my lack of baking skills; my interest in trying new things; my enthusiasm with the world around me; my willingness to talk through problems, forgive, and move on; my belief system; my volunteer work; and everything else that goes on in my life. I make mistakes, just like every. single. person. But I learn from it, can you say the same for yourself?  If not, try it. It's refreshing.  

So stop judging me for what I am or am not compared to yourself. I don't do that to you, so don't do that to me. I'm not you and I don't want to be you. And you should feel the same way about yourself. Be the best person that you know how to be and be comfortable with your decision to be so.  Everyone makes a place for themselves in this world, and it's up to you to own your choices, your decisions, and be comfortable with them. If you don't like how your life is, do something to change it. Only you have the power to. Otherwise you are going to continue to live a life of feeling less than others if you can't feel beautiful within yourself. Love yourself. Everyone else already does. You just haven't opened your eyes enough to see it yet. 

This song reminds me of when someone called me a bad mother one time (with nothing to base it off of, mind you). But let me remind you ~ you can NEVER. EVER. TAKE. THIS. AWAY. FROM. ME. I am a good hearted, strong, loving mother, and you will never, ever, ever make me feel any different from that. Rock on and be good to yourselves!!!


  1. Great post Brianna. Beautifully thought out and articulated. In this world of motherhood the grass is always greener. One of my all time favorite quotes:

    "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

    We control our own lives. We have the ability to do or be who we want. We are the ones who put forth the effort to raise our children to be healthy, happy, and positive human beings. How we define those things is where we often differ.

  2. Completely agree, thanks for writing this post!

    1. Thanks for stopping by and reading it!