Friday, August 23, 2013

why i work

Dear Tristan,

Not too long ago you informed me that Daddy and Tristan live at home and Mommy lives in New York. (OUCH!). I'm sure it was not designed to do that, but the statement breaks my heart. But no worries, I won't hold it against you. You were merely saying what you observed. 

Seeing as how you are three years old, you've never really seen a time when I didn't ever work. Although I was anxious about leaving you after maternity leave with the daycare provider, it was also a relief to relax into something "normal" compared to the gigantic craziness you brought to my life.  Flying to NYC for a work trip immediately after my maternity leave was over ensured I was able to get a full night's sleep ~ despite having to wake up every 3 hours to pump. I think one time I even slept 5 hours - oops! 

Tristan, some people work to earn a living and some people are lucky to get paid to do what they love. I am lucky to be someone who gets paid to do what she loves. While chaotic at times, my job provides me the motivation and determination to consistently think outside the box, find solutions, work well with others, and develop something great for an outstanding company. Am I saving lives? No. But I could be by creating jobs with my successful projects, right? Some people put a lot more into those types of jobs that 'save lives' or 'save people', such as medical doctors, firefighters, lawyers, or teachers. But in my eyes, most every job is important to the success of the economy, which in fact, saves lives and people. Everyone is important. And every job is important in some way or another. But I love the challenges my job mentally provides me, similar to how I see your blissed out look when you are thoroughly engaged in completing your Thomas puzzle. 

What if I told you it was your puzzle, games, toys.....or me? I'm almost certain you'd choose me, but wouldn't that be unfair for me to put that pressure on you to decide?  I think somewhere down the line many people have absorbed the message that the mommys who love their kids don't work. Well, there may be many reasons why mommys work. And they may not be what you think. But these are mine:

  1. I love what I do.
  2. Being creative through my thinking, design, processes, and production makes me happy. And it helps bleed over into how patient and engaged I am as a mommy to you. 
  3. Because those awesome vacations are not a necessity to many families, but they are to me. It's important to me you receive a variety of experiences, including those that take us places ~ most of which you have a lot of fun at. Without these experiences, you may not be as open minded of a person you can be, and being open minded is an extremely great quality to have. These experiences and vacations are made possible by two incomes. 
  4. Because I want you to view a woman as a strong, independent individual and I want you to wholeheartedly respect all women as you would a man. 
  5. Because I worked before you were born and I want the job I love to be there after you go to college. 
  6. Because I hope it teaches you to be happy and do what you love in life.
  7. Because I would go insane if I stayed at home all day without the any intellectual thinking going on. 
So, I love my job, I love work, I don't love traveling so much (so I agree with you there) and I'm glad it's slowed down a lot from the first half of the year....but I love you and Daddy so much more. So if I had to choose, I would choose you. But I'm glad I don't have to. And I hope I never do.

Love you forever and always, 
Mommy





While all of my reasons for working are true, my inspiration for writing this letter to Tristan after he made the comment came from reading this author's letter to her daughter.

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